maureen collins

When people around you are overstepping your boundaries and making your life stressed and unbearable, you have to speak up. The conversations may be difficult but having them is the only way to resolve these situations. One thing is certain. The longer you delay, the more difficult the conversations will be.

Sometimes you have to step back from relationships with colleagues and take time to sort out communication problem before you can work effectively together. It means slowing down now so you can go faster in the future.

It is easy to talk when the topic is not sensitive, when the other person is not defensive and when you are not feeling threatened. The three ideas in this article will help you plan difficult conversations so you can step up to them with confidence.

Learn how to speak up about things that trouble you. If you do not, problems continue unresolved, communication suffers and as you become more stressed about the situation, the relationship deteriorates.

We often use politeness to smooth over tricky interactions with others. We forget that it interferes with effective communication and destroys honesty, openness and trust in our relationships.

The thought of confrontation is scary for most people so we often delay holding difficult conversations. Unfortunately, the longer a conversation is delayed, the more difficult and confrontational it is likely to be.

Of the many difficult conversations that managers face, reviewing performance with an employee should be fairly straight forward. But as every manager knows, that is not the case. Performance appraisal goes off the rails when the facts of the matter are not handled correctly.

Many organisations have detailed processes and documentation for managers to use when they carry out appraisal interviews. Often it is computerized. It looks elegant and efficient. But development of people takes more than paperwork and software. It is the quality of the conversations between manager and employee that makes all the difference.

When managers hold performance reviews, they tend to talk more than they listen. They say employees gain by sharing in their experience and views. But listening to what employees have to say contributes to their personal development as well as virtually guaranteeing commitment to better solutions.

Many people think that talking tough means using an authoritarian management style, pointing out problems and telling people how to fix them. In reality, that management style is not nearly as tough as holding someone to account for their performance by asking them to commit to action to improve it.

Managers sometimes act as if talking straight with people means telling them what to do and then watching them closely to make sure they do it. This management style may get the work done, but there is not likely to be much commitment to it.

Managers who want to surround themselves with high performing teams must learn how to solve problems with performance quickly and effectively. Performance problems can be complex and it is important to know how to get down to the real issue. If you are not talking about the right problem, no amount of talking will solve the problem!

What do you do when you take over a team and find that your predecessor has not managed the performance of people effectively in the past? When performance problems have been allowed to continue, perhaps for years, without being confronted, you face a very difficult performance management situation.

Conversations about performance are some of the most important conversations managers have with their people. Unfortunately, these conversations are often handled very poorly. Learn how to avoid three of the most common mistakes.

Managers often avoid confronting poor performance, preferring to side step difficult conversations and possible confrontations. But performance problems do not go away when they are ignored and hints or sarcasm only damage the relationship between employees and their managers. Use these steps to confront poor performance.

When people do not perform to the standard expected of them, managers often hold back in tackling the problem. They ignore it, hoping it will go away. Then they drop hints about the need to improve. Finally, in desperation, they impose disciplinary action. There is a better way. Learn how to hold performance reviews effectively and resolve performance problems using these four steps.